Saturday, August 16, 2014

My Book

In years past, I have had a few people ask me about writing a book.  I have given it serious consideration. But, since I started the blog about Living with Cerebral Palsy, I was asked to read a couple of books.  The books were about them living with cerebral palsy.  So, how many books do we need out there about the subject?

No.  what I am talking about today is the old saying, "Don't judge a book by its cover."

Let me explain.  This summer has been absolutely wonderful for Steven.  It has been bands, band camps, and musicals. He got his driver's license, so he can just pick up and go, when he needs to be somewhere.

I have been so glad that my son has had all of these opportunities to learn and grow musically, especially since he wants to make it a career.

But, I have been frustrated with the other side of the coin. Steven is not here to do his chores, and help me with things I cannot do.  For instance, the lawn has been mowed twice this summer. I can't do it.  I can't afford to hire someone else to do it. Steven is too busy.  Even when he is home, he doesn't want to spend his spare time doing chores.

Thus, the weeds got out of control.  I bought spray and a weeder.  But, I cannot do it myself.  The spray sat in my entryway for 2 months, because Steven was worried about me getting it on myself or tracking it in the house with the wheelchair. I finally decided I could at least kill the ones I could reach from the wheelchair.  (It made me feel good to at least try.)  Now, I need him to whack them down, and spray what I couldn't reach.) My yard looks really pitiful.

I gave up inviting people to the house years ago.  My carpet always has black cat hair on it; the cats literally clawed my furniture to pieces, and there is just stuff everywhere.  I try to keep my mess to my room.  I always have stuff on either side of my bed, so I don't have to get up, when I want to do something.  But, I have been slightly depressed all summer, because I wish the rest of the house was company ready.

I LOVE going to my mom's.  Everything has its place, and everything is in its place. I wish my house was like that. I wish people could just drop by, and me not feel embarrassed or ashamed.

My sister and her husband have offered to finance a housekeeper to come and vacuum, mop, and clean the bathrooms.  I love their generous spirits.  But, I can't ask anyone to come over and help me clean, when my son doesn't mind the mess, and feels no need to pick up.

I am looking forward to the day, when I don't have cat fur in the house, and my friends allergic to cats can come visit.  I look forward to the day, when I have only a couple of rooms to take care of, and any mess is mine to pick up.  At the same time, I know I will cry buckets, when my nest is empty. I will probably even miss music stuff all over the living room, the art supplies covering the bar, and even the lovable cat that makes carpet cleaning a nightmare.

I really am a social person.  I wish I had the ability and energy to have an company-worthy home. I would love to invite people over for a meal, a snack and some games, whatever.

So, if you drive by my house and think nobody cares, or if you come to visit, and I would rather take you out for coffee, please "don't judge my book by its cover".  If I could, I would have a house and yard like my mom. (Her house, no matter where she lives, always feels like home.)  Inside, I really am a neat person. or at least I want to be..

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